So I am back in New York. It’s pretty fucking cold- but I like it. Apparently it was kind of warm here last week and then I got here and it suddenly became really cold. I have a winter jacket and I kinda hate it. Jojo (she works in the BurningAngel office) always makes fun of me about it. Not about how much I hate the jacket but how ugly the jacket actually is. I have had it for about 5 years and I’ve never washed it (if I have I have no recollection of it) and it looks kinda 90’s raver-ish almost. It has stripes on the arms and yellow padding on the inside. When it gets cold enough to wear the jacket I usually don’t care about what I’m wearing, I’m just thinking about being practical and warm.
I went to Detroit for the weekend to do some family Thanksgiving shit. It was nice. I think most of my family members are over the porn thing by now and Thanksgiving dinner is no longer awkward. They can make jokes about it. My family is Jewish- Jews like to gossip…. the “Joanna does porn” gossip is kinda old by now and they have moved onto more interesting topics to complain about- like my sister’s non-Jewish boyfriend that she will probably marry or my aunts new cabinets in the kitchen. They are some damn nice cabinets.
Yeah so in any case, I returned from Detroit on Friday around midnight and immediately wanted to go out as soon as i got off the plane…I went to my loft and dropped off all my stuff… changed my outfit from something relatively friendly to something more club in manhattan friendly, and then… I put the ugly jacket on. I looked in the mirror and decided that maybe JoJo was right and the jacket really was ugly and I shouldn’t wear it into Manhattan. I mean, what if one of those crazy bloggers saw me and took a picture and made fun of me? I probably shouldn’t care about what they think but the jacket really is pretty gross. So instead I put on a much cooler looking but not so warm jacket I got from Ben Sherman a few years ago. Usually Ben Sherman shit is so expensive.. but I found this jacket for pretty cheap… I was so surprised. I was like, Holy Shit- why is this so cheap? It’s Ben Sherman, and it’s awesome looking, and it’s a jacket. I shortly learned that the jacket was like, one very thin piece of fabric. It gave the illusion of being kinda like a biker jacket, although it wasn’t leather- It sorta looked like leather from far away but it wasn’t. I think it was made out of garbage bags. I don’t know if you have ever worn a garbage bag before but they really don’t keep you warm. Yeah. Why am I telling you all this? I am not so sure. If any of you saw me on Saturday night walking around Manhattan and thought I looked stylish or cool or cute or hot or something-just know that I was also really really cold and that next time you see me I may in fact be wearing an ugly poofy yellow racing striped thing from the 90’s.
I stayed out till about 8 am and drank till I was sober. If any of you have stayed out till 8 am I am sure you understand what that means. My friend Mike who owns the Beauty Bar out here always lets me and my friends hang out there after after hours. The two “afters” were not a typo- I literally meant after the after hours. Like I went to another bar at 4am and got kicked out of there at about 4:30 and then went to Beauty Bar after being kicked out of the after hours bar. I know you must think I was having crazy wild orgies and doing lots of drugs since I stayed out till 8 am in an after after hours bar… but really all the guys I hang out with in New York are gay. I think they have their own wild drug orgies in the bathroom because they kinda take turns going in and out of there in groups of 2 or 3 or 4 when we’re hanging out… but I don’t get invited. I guess it is probably better that way. I don’t know why my “crew” out here is a bunch of bitchy gay guys, it must be because I have connections to guys with really big penises.
Am I starting to ramble?
I hung out with college friends before I went to the bar that I went to before I went to beauty bar. Like from midnight till 4 am ish… no they aren’t friends in college they are friends I had when I was in college who were in the area because of Thanksgiving. One of them is named Sue. When I was in college Sue was a junior and I was a Freshman, and she didn’t like me very much. She was like this bad ass chick who sang in a hardcore band and rode a motorcycle and I was a loser freshman with freshly died manic panic purple hair. I wanted to make out with all her male friends who idolized her and barely even wanted to make out with me. She tried to hate me because I was a “new girl” and I was too scared to even talk to her but somehow we wound up being friends, and staying friends. I made her feel girly and she made me feel tough. Now she is sort of a scientist and sort of a computer programmer and in addition to riding a motorcycle she flies a plane as a hobby. Yeah. Crazy right?
The funniest part of all this though- is that she purchased a copy of Joanna’s Angels 2 when it came out. She was in this long term relationship with this guy for a while and they watched Joanna’s Angels 2 together a lot. She told me that when they broke up the biggest fight they had when they were splitting up their stuff was over who should keep Joanna’s Angels 2- I think technically he paid for it… but I was like… her college friend and I think she told him to buy it. He won possession over it- and she was pissed. I asked her why she didn’t just call me and ask for a new one, and she said that she didn’t want me to know that she was jerking off to my movies- she thought I would be offended. HA! I just think back to when I was a freshman in college who could barely work up the courage to say hi to her at hardcore shows- if someone would have told me we would be having this conversation uh… 6 years later – I – well I wouldn’t have believed them. Life works out in weird ways. Yeeeeeeeah.
Well this is all I will write today.
I’ll write more tomorrow.
when i was in college i would have done just about anything for people to read my writing. like i sunk as low as reading bad poetry in coffee shops and printing little books out with stolen cards from kinkos and handed them out to people on the streets. Even for free, most people didn’t want them.
Now people actually read what I write and I take it for granted by not writing so often. =(
I have just been so busy. The makeup artist is wairing for me right now in my living room to paint my face up and then tonight i go get fucked by 3 guys. Although I have a feeling one of them might not show up. I haven’t really herd from him all day… hmmm… whatever. We’ll see. I have to think of a silly set up that will lead to sex- and I have to make the set look like I’m not in San Fernando Valley even though I am. Blah yeah- I am excited though. My vagina is like half shaven. I think I gave up on trying to make it look pretty-
I have a few "days off" kind of because of thanksgiving. Hopefully I will have more time to get you guys caught up on my life.
I just want you to know that um… you can all take turns to spank me for being a bad blogger.
so i just found out that i’m going on LA Ink tomorrow.
uh… what should I get?! I think I know what I will get. Man I am kinda nervous. I guess I shouldn’t be… I am really just getting a tattoo. I’m doing a shoot at night though! AHHHHHHHH someone come help me organize my life. I am like a rockstar- get tattooed during the day, get DP’d at night. Yeah. Crazyness.
life has been all crazy lately. OK I am saying crazy way too much. I have been shooting a lot- for myself obviously. I am doing lots of dirty things- you know, DP’s and anal scenes and what not. I’ll have to admit I really like being DP’d but the guys have to know what they are doing. Not everyone knows how to do it. I don’t know how to really explain the "right way". I’m going to save them and just release them slowly. I’m trying to just stock up on as much content as I can because you know… I am getting old and worried that I might look like dog food next year. OK, maybe not dog food but like something else that you might not want to see naked. I know, everyone says I am crazy but I think it’s ok to shoot like a whole bunch of stuff now and then just chill for a while.
You know, it really sucks. It has been hard for me to find places to shoot in Los Angeles. I feel like every location I find kinda looks like my great aunt’s place in Long Island. I’m serious! All the cheesy colors, all the stupid furniture, all the dumb swimming pools and ugly ass paintings on the walls. I went to the Haloween store to get a bunch of crap I can hang up and try to make the cheesy places look a little less cheesy. I thought about shooting all these scenes in New York but there are no penises there. So it’s a lot- I need to like, worry about the set design.. the makeup artist, the penises, and coming up with some kind of weird set-up that takes 2 minutes and leads to sex. Sometimes there isn’t a makeup artist, but they are really good at making me feel pretty. I don’t know what they do. Tomorrow I am doing my own make-up because there is just no time to get my makeup done in between getting tattooed on TV. I will just throw some shit on- maybe if they do my makeup on LA Ink I will just keep whatever I have on. AHHHHHHHHHHHH I don’t know. And what will the set up be? Maybe I will do some like "oh baby come put lotion on my tattoo" yeah. Will that work? I am shooting in my friends studio- he directs for one of the gonzo companies and his studio is hideous. I just couldn’t really find anything else. I’m gonna have to put up some posters and do something creative. All with a big fresh tattoo on my side…. yeah. You think my life is so glamorous! It isn’t! Hahahahaha… but I wouldn’t trade it in for a second.
The bottom line is, the last DP I didn’t wasn’t so good and it was a long time ago. The one I did the other day was awesome. I think every girl needs a good DP in their life sometime before they die. I am serious. I also think it solves relationship problems. I can’t really explain why.
You must think I am on crack from the nature of my writing- but I am not. I am just a little all over the place.