Sorry about that
I am retarded and i can’t figure out how to embed this.
anyways- this is the youtube friendly trailer-
It comes out in January- you better buy it or i will stab you!!
It’s cold outside, and I haven’t shot anything new in a little while… AND I haven’t been dancing so… yeah… my armpit hair has gotten a little bit long. I mean, you know how it gets… right? I’m not trying to prove anything- I’m not protesting societal beauty standards- or trying to prove some kind of point- I swear. I just haven’t had a really good reason to shave. Well, that is- except the other day….
Ug. You know when you fuck up- you just replay the story again in your head and you hope that you can somehow magically change what happened? That’s what is going on right now.
OK so I don’t know if you have ever watched the AVN awards… but basically… these little skits are played up on the screen in between the times when the awards are being announced. They are short and silly comedic things that make fun of the porn industry and embrace it at the same time. The AVN awards are somewhat of a big deal in porn so everyone in the industry is always there- and also- it is played on Showtime.
Yeah. So AVN asked me to be in one of these skits. This one was particularly funny- which is why AVN wanted me and Penny Flame to both be in it. I don’t mean to brag (or is this even bragging??) but we are both pretty funny. I love Penny- I think we kinda have the same view on the porn industry. Like, we love it but we understand how retarded it is at the same time. So we are both very good at making fun of it.
Anyways- Regan Reese, Shyla Styles and Aiden Star were also in the little skit. It was a pretty good group of girls. A blond with fake tits, two girls covered in tattooes, a blond with perfect natural tits, and Penny Flame– you’re like, ultimate non porny porn chick. Oh yeah- and Ed Powers was there too, an old school porn dude.
AVN licensed some footage from CSPAN– I have no idea how they did that but they did. It was the footage from that big meeting all the senators and the head honchos from the car companies had about the bailout- and they cut it with fottage of us basically being stereotypical porno retards. Like- there was one specific part where someone said “15 + 5 = 20” from the CSPAN footage and it will cut back to be and all the girls going “Huh? it is?” and then making out with eachother. It’s funny. Pretending to be stupid, is always fun.
Anyways. I was told to wear a short dress, so i could like- flash my boobs and show my ass very easily. So when I was in the shower I was like- ok, I’m wearing a short dress…. I must shave my legs. I shaved them. For some unknown reason I didn’t really think about my armpits. I don’t know why!! We had to all raise our hands up and say “YAAAAY ANAL! ” as a response to something one of the senators said. I realized then that I hadn’t shaved…. but it was too late. UG how embarassing. Since I am known as the “alt” girl in porn- I bet the other girls there thought that hairy armpits were some “alt” thing. It’s really not- it was pure ditsyness on my part and I am just so frazzled. Yeah.
To make it worse this entire thing was shot in HD…. UG!
I am sure this little clip will go on YouTube- and it will most defintely be on Showtime- and the entire porn industry and fans will see it. So if you see this- please…. don’t stop loving me. Ug. Hopefully CSPAN will change their minds about licensing the footage and it will just never come out.
So when people make fun of me on message boards and what not- can you please explain how busy I am and how armpit shaving was just something that split my mind?
I already Twittered about this so sorry if you have already heard my frustration.
Yo. I don’t call fans “creeps” ever. I really don’t. I have explained this before. I am also a creep- I welcome creeps… it’s cool. You guys can come see me at a convention and go grazy on the creepyness. I don’t mind.
But there is a line- and that line deals with my poor parents who have been cursed with a daughter of me, and they don’t deserve to be bothered with nonsense. And by nonsens, I mean Jesus.
So yeah…. someone sent a package to my mothers house- addressed to “Joanna Angel.” She didn’t like this very much. She sent the package to me. I got it in the mail the other day. I opened it. It is a hand-written two page letter whose first line begins with “I swear I am not a stalker.”
Um… Hello? You obviously did research on where my frekin parents live. I mean if you are going to go through that much trouble to stalk… then bitch, OWN IT. Start the letter with like- HELLO JOANNA- TIS I – YOUR STALKER! HOW ARE YOU!
OK, anyways…. so basically, after a paragraph of this dude explaining that he was not a stalked… he said that he felt really bad for me, and has the desire to save me through finding Jesus. Then it continued to three pages of nonsense about how I can’t possibly like what I do and I must just be fooling myself, and how he knows I am a depressed terrible drug addict and I can confide in him. Then there were a bunch of photo copied pages from the bible proceeding the letter from the non-stalker who just so happened to stumble upon my mothers house in New Jersey.
UG! This made me so angry. I would have been less offended if someone showed up to NY XXXotica and jerked off all over my booth. Seriously.
And for the record- I have pissed off my family enough in my life… they don’t need any more troubles. Creepy Jesus un-stalker dude… are you out there? Are you reading this? I am JEWISH… any trueun-stalkerÂ should know that. My mother would be waaaaay more pissed off about me finding Jesus… than me doing porn.
Needless to say, I threw the letter, the photocopied bible pages, and the envelope it all arrived in, in the trash. But that was not enough. I did not want to exist in the same house as this thing.
I live on a hill, and it’s a very steep hill…. and taking my garbedge out consists of me taking my trash down a hill, and then the empty garbege cans up the hill again. I try to procrastinate this venture for as long as possible. It’s really un-enjoyable. This month I actually let it pile up a bit too much to the point where it is a little embarrassing. I mean, the trash was at the point where I just couldn’t stuff anything else in it.Not even a banana peel.
The only good thing that came out of this letter was that it totally inspired me to get off my ass and take out the trash. Garbege day is on Thursday. Ug. I can’t wait.
November was one CRAZY shooting extravaganza. Some months go by where we shoot a lot, and some months we don’t shoot anything at all. We are very unpredictable like that.
The movie we just finished up this month is Girls Girls Girls #2. I don’t know if you saw the first edition of Girls Girls Girls… but it’s basically, a bunch of girls dressed up like 80’s metal sluts, having sex with each other.
What was the inspiration for this movie? Well, I remember when I was in elementary school, I had a baby-sitter who teased her hair up high, and wore cut up Poison tee-shirts. Her name was Lisa. I wanted to make out with her so badly, and this was way before I even knew that two girls could do that kinda thing together. She had a boyfriend in the hair metal band Trixter. Well, she called him her boyfriend. I am not so sure what his feelings were on their whole relationship status but she talked about him so much, that sometimes I felt like he was my boyfriend too. On several occasions she bragged to me that their one song they had on MTV called “one in a million” was about her. He was sort of hard for me to compete with- being that I was like, 9, and the only instrument I knew how to play was the piano- and the only songs on the piano were like, classical songs. read the rest of this entry….