I had a great time in San Francisco. I really loved being able to be so dirty on stage. I wish I could fuck my ass with a dildo every time I danced at a club. I enjoy dancing and I uh…want to get better at it. Is that weird? I think I’m kinda clumsy. I want to be more graceful. I have seen girls strip gracefully and it’s such a turn on! I think I might take some kind of dance class this year, at some point. Not a stripping class, but a regular dance class and then try to incorporate some of those moves into my stripper routine. It’s one of those things on my “To Do” list, that may or may not ever get done.
Anyways, here are a few photos from the Crazy Horse in San Francisco.
Here is a group of dudes who I think were in for someone’s birthday who all wanted a photo with me. Or most of them did – one of them kinda just got dragged in (the dude on the left); I think he was worried about his girlfriend finding the photo so I decided to make the picture a little easier to find, and put it on the Internet.
If you look closely, the dude on the right of me has something shiny in his mouth. That would be my butt plug. Yaaay!
And here I am having some fun with one of the sexy house dancers.
And here I am signing the lit up photo of me outside. If you walk down Market Street in San Francisco, you can see it. I think my signature will be up for a few more days.
I came home last night and watched The Grammys. They were pretty boring. In case you missed them, here is my recap. I posted it on Twitter but, I will say it again on here.
Dave Grohl wore a Slayer Tee shirt. I guess that was kinda cool? However, Foo Fighters won for Best Metal/Hard Rock performance – and I don’t think there is anything metal about Dave Grohl other than the tee-shirt he wore. They should have renamed that category.
Nicki Minaj wore a hideous dress, and did a really retarded performance on stage that included levitating. I think I’m going to stop listening to her, even on an ironic level.
Chris Brown is a complete tool. There is nothing good about that guy.
I think Taylor Swift is adorable, and my crush on her is getting creepy. I will go to church, or fly to Nashville – or whatever…just to make out with you Taylor! I can pretend to be innocent for a day?
Jennifer Hudson sang a tribute song to Whiney Huston. It is sad Whitney died, and even more sad that someone a little better couldn’t have sang a song for her. Sorry Jenny.
Adele won a whole bunch of shit, and Paul McCartney is still alive, and incredibly talented.
Overall, it was pretty boring. I am glad I make porn and not Top 40 music.
Well, I was randomly given a ticket to go to the American Music awards. Really random! The show was kind of cheesy. I’m not really sure what association gives out these awards or what they mean but, I saw a bunch of people perform who I would have never seen other wise. I can now cross “watching Justin Beiber play” off my list of things to do before I die.
I’m sure you can read about the highlights on numerous websites. I have developed a whole new hatred for Jennifer Lopez. She sucks. She is lame. She does have a nice butt, however it is not nice enough to cover up for all the other suck factors about her. She sang a terrible song on stage and then brought out a car (the same car from the awful car commercial she is in where she drives through the ghetto and waves to everyone) and like, kind of drove the car on the stage and danced on the car on the stage. It was really, really stupid.
I was excited to watch Katy Perry play because, well, I kind of love her – but she played a new song and it was incredibly boring. It was a love ballad of sorts, and she strummed a guitar while she sang it. On the plus side, the guitar was pink, and so was her hair…but unfortunately, her hair was in an incredibly ugly hair style, and the song was incredibly bad…so the pink is sort of canceled out. I hope Katy goes back to making dance hits. She is very good at that sort of thing!
My favorite acts (and honestly, the only ones I really liked) were Kelly Clarkson and LMFAO. Kelly Clarkson looked incredible – her ass looked ridiculously amazing in this red fishtail dress kinda thing, and her song was great. I think it was about the media attacking her and there were news-clippings on TV screens everywhere and a bunch of dudes dancing around her that looked like they were from Newsies with old school cameras and stuff. It was great. Go Kelly!!!
…And LMFAO was just hilarious and awesome. They were the last act in the show and they ended with pouring confetti all over the audience. They definitely breathed some life into the show and basically had a party on stage. I guess that is why they call them Party Rockers – or something?
All the famous people were really busy, and I wasn’t really able to snag a photo with anyone. I also didn’t want to be “that girl” … however, sitting quite close to me was the most important man in the world, and I was totally fine with being “that girl” around him. So here we are: me – and “The Situation” from The Jersey Shore.
Oh yeah, and I have no proof of this at all, but when I was walking out Taylor Swift totally stopped her tracks and told me she liked my hair. It was in this Rockabilly ‘do. I swear. I am not making this up. I think this is a sure sign that she wants to make out with me – right? Wouldn’t we be so cute???
Here’s a bunch of blurry photos I took from the stage. I wasn’t really allowed to take photos so, sorry they kinda suck.
All in all, it was interesting. Music has gotten so tame, and so safe, and so…made for kids. I think I am too old for most of this shit. Top 40 music is just not made for people like me. So if you have a younger kid or something, maybe you should replay the AMA‘s and watch it with them, and you can gawk at how adorable Justin Beiber is, and um… dance on a car.