Hahahahahah, I’m just kidding. I didn’t really find Jesus, I just play someone who did in a porno! My darling Petey and I were discussing the upcoming church group bake off and the brownies I was going to make that would kick some serious butt, and saying grace before dinner when there was a rap at the door – who would interrupt grace?? Turns out, it was his ex, Romance, who was actually still his WIFE, and had just gotten out of the slammer! And much to my surprise, that family heirloom salt shaker was actually a bu… a b-b-b-….BUTT PLUG! That he used in Romance’s ASS! He kept it because it reminded him of her. As a good Christian woman, it was my duty to cast out that demonic toy out from our household.. umm… our household that I got locked out of while Romance received the dick she desired on our dinner table. =(
Everyone knows anal sex with jailbirds trumps brownies with the Lord! My character would come to understand, eventually. Haha! You can watch the full scene at BurningAngel.com – Out Of Jail!
And make sure you watch my cam show tonight with Small Hands at 7pm! Sign up with code ‘halfoffBA’ to get 50% off a 1month membership and view the show totally free on BurningAngel.com – or you can always watch it on streamate at tinyurl.com/balivesex free for the first 20 minutes! See you pervs later.
Hi there! You should watch this excerpt from the first episode of my new parody – Joanna Angel’s Making The Band! And then you should go watch the full scene at BurningAngel.com!
What’s that? You don’t have a membership?! Well get on it! You don’t wanna miss out on this little gem. It’s Lily Lane’s FIRST DP EVER!
And make sure you listen to me live coming up on Vivid Radio shortly!!!
PS – Happy birthday to my awesome assistant and social media gopher Jennie! You rule. Eat cake! Go follow her on instagram.
Yes, it is! Haha =) If you haven’t viewed my latest scene, then I don’t even know what you’re doing. Small Hands and I scheduled a maid to come clean the house, and it turned out to be Nadia Styles, whom we happen to be extremely big fans of – here’s a mostly-SFW excerpt –
It’s just so difficult these days to make money in the porn industry when it’s available elsewhere for free! But anyway – it turns out Nadia the maid really missed the days of banging hot people all day.. and it lead to a pretty sweet anal threesome outside by the pool! I think I might need to make a Nadia DVD that just puts her in odd situations that lead to spectacular hardcore sex.
If you weren’t aware by now, it’s almost like every day of the year is Tommy Pistol’s birthday. He’s boned some completely stunning women over the years, as have I, so I must admit I made myself a little jealous when I shot him and Nadia Styles together in a birthday-themed scene.
What would a surprise party thrown by me for my porno brother look like? Something like this:
Getting weird, wooo! Haha, I’m sure in reality, Tommy would know that the special guest was a stripper and wasn’t actually an astronaut, and way more friends would show up because he’s extremely awesome. Which brings me to my next point –
Tommy! We’re so happy for you that you’re hosting the AVN Awards this Saturday!! I’ll see you backstage =)
I will see everyone else this week in LAS VEGAS!!
Rain or shine, it’s a party all the time with the Joanna Angel Fleshlight!
Hahahahahahaha, I’m sorry I’m not sorry about this.
Happy Fleshlight Friday, everybody! You can pick up yours here.
Enjoy the long weekend and have a good Labor Day!