Hello New York! I am here for a week. It’s cold and rainy outside, and I kinda like it. It’s nice to be here – it always is.
I was so exhausted from our big shoot, that I missed two flights to New York. One at 1pm, then another at 3pm – fortunately I was able to catch one at 4:25PM and got in around 1 am. But I am here now – in my office, doing stuff.
I have a few more photos from various cell phones from the shoot. Unfortunately, I do not have any photos from the sex scenes – sorry. Shit was kinda hectic! However, if you are interested, there was a sex scene with Veruca, Kleio and Derrik Pierce, Jessie Lee and Tommy Pistol, Krysta Kaos and Mr. Pete, Dana Dearmond and Jon Jon and Julius Ceahzar, annnnd me and Danny Wylde. They were all pretty awesome. There was not one slightly mediocre sex scene in the movie. Everyone fucked – and acted – their asses off.
Like all my the features, the plot of this movie was pretty ridiculous. I had a really good time writing this one. An old and good friend of mine named Nick helped me out, who is insanely funny, and together we really made an incredibly comedic porno writing duo. In any case, the movie is basically about a coffee shop that isn’t doing so well – so a reality TV show that specializes in fixing coffee shops (called “save my coffee”) comes in to save it. I was poking fun at the fixer-upper reality TV shows like “Kitchen Nightmares” – or whatever that hair salon one is called. Then “save my coffee” starts to get poor ratings from the network – so we are forced to change the concept of the show to something more marketable; one where everyone has tans, and gets drunk all day. In the movie, we pretend this is a completely new and innovative concept but we are very obviously mimicking the Jersey Shore.
Everyone in the movie did their sex scenes in their hipster-esque, Barista gear – however, I did my sex scene in my Jersey Shore garb, on the TV show, within the porno movie. Get it?
So here is me and all the girls doing our Jersey Shore joke:
And here is what I would look like had I stayed living in Jersey, and hung out with a completely different crowd of people. Melissa – the makeup artist, did her best to still keep me looking attractive, and not like a total clown. Danny Wylde and I were completely doused in spray tan- and we are both incredibly pale. It was for sure the tannest sex we ever had. It was kind of hilarious. I hope you are still able to get aroused by it!
Anyways, the release of this movie is scheduled for June or July. It’s going to be a huge editing project since there is like, a movie, and two TV shows within the movie. I’m pretty excited about it! It’s going to be really unique, with hot sex, and some awesomely funny dialogue. Fuck yeah! Working on my mini epic movies truly makes me happy. It’s a real challenge and such a great feeling when everything comes out the way you want it to.
Well, I was randomly given a ticket to go to the American Music awards. Really random! The show was kind of cheesy. I’m not really sure what association gives out these awards or what they mean but, I saw a bunch of people perform who I would have never seen other wise. I can now cross “watching Justin Beiber play” off my list of things to do before I die.
I’m sure you can read about the highlights on numerous websites. I have developed a whole new hatred for Jennifer Lopez. She sucks. She is lame. She does have a nice butt, however it is not nice enough to cover up for all the other suck factors about her. She sang a terrible song on stage and then brought out a car (the same car from the awful car commercial she is in where she drives through the ghetto and waves to everyone) and like, kind of drove the car on the stage and danced on the car on the stage. It was really, really stupid.
I was excited to watch Katy Perry play because, well, I kind of love her – but she played a new song and it was incredibly boring. It was a love ballad of sorts, and she strummed a guitar while she sang it. On the plus side, the guitar was pink, and so was her hair…but unfortunately, her hair was in an incredibly ugly hair style, and the song was incredibly bad…so the pink is sort of canceled out. I hope Katy goes back to making dance hits. She is very good at that sort of thing!
My favorite acts (and honestly, the only ones I really liked) were Kelly Clarkson and LMFAO. Kelly Clarkson looked incredible – her ass looked ridiculously amazing in this red fishtail dress kinda thing, and her song was great. I think it was about the media attacking her and there were news-clippings on TV screens everywhere and a bunch of dudes dancing around her that looked like they were from Newsies with old school cameras and stuff. It was great. Go Kelly!!!
…And LMFAO was just hilarious and awesome. They were the last act in the show and they ended with pouring confetti all over the audience. They definitely breathed some life into the show and basically had a party on stage. I guess that is why they call them Party Rockers – or something?
All the famous people were really busy, and I wasn’t really able to snag a photo with anyone. I also didn’t want to be “that girl” … however, sitting quite close to me was the most important man in the world, and I was totally fine with being “that girl” around him. So here we are: me – and “The Situation” from The Jersey Shore.
Oh yeah, and I have no proof of this at all, but when I was walking out Taylor Swift totally stopped her tracks and told me she liked my hair. It was in this Rockabilly ‘do. I swear. I am not making this up. I think this is a sure sign that she wants to make out with me – right? Wouldn’t we be so cute???
Here’s a bunch of blurry photos I took from the stage. I wasn’t really allowed to take photos so, sorry they kinda suck.
All in all, it was interesting. Music has gotten so tame, and so safe, and so…made for kids. I think I am too old for most of this shit. Top 40 music is just not made for people like me. So if you have a younger kid or something, maybe you should replay the AMA‘s and watch it with them, and you can gawk at how adorable Justin Beiber is, and um… dance on a car.